My mom isn’t even familiar with the Western concept of “crazy cat lady” but has already accused me of being one.
PerStirpes: J said when we get our house, we can get another cat!
mom: Another one? What’s wrong with you? You’re going to smell like an old lady.
I wish this was allowed in court.
If I had a dollar for every job rejection I’ve gotten since starting law school, I’d have like, infinity dollars. Which would be really helpful right about now, after my last rejection-rage-induced shopping bender. I reason that there are far worse benders, you know, that I could actually have, but I’m concerned that buying sixty dollars of candles is just as unhealthy.
I know I have a few law students and newly anointed lawyers following my blog, so I’d just like to throw out this free reality check your way. If anyone tells you that grades don’t matter, they’re lying to you. They are so. fucking. lying to you.
I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so inadequate as I do when my email reads, “Sorry they’re going to pass on you; they wanted higher law school grades.”
It’s like the ENTIRE LAW FIELD is my mother. Doesn’t matter if you’re not Chinese, all lawyers know how it feels to have a high expectations Asian parent.
I can’t help feeling like nothing I’ve ever accomplished in the last three years matter. I could have just picked my nose through law school and I would end up no different from where I am today.
Law students, don’t take this to mean you won’t find a job. No. It’s just the odds of you working at an office where your boss treats you like garbage and the odds of you wanting to make bloody tampon muffins is one hundred percent. No, you’ll still enough to afford your benders - whatever your vice may be.
Sorry, B+ students, I see a lot of fucking candles in your future.
I’m on a conference call right now (Sunday morning conference call in underpants! whoo!) and the client literally compared himself to General Patton at WWII’s Battle of the Bulge.
My most soul crushing fear is that I’ll never be able to quit and leave this office. But this girl’s got loans to pay, and I like to, you know, eat on a regular basis.
I don’t really know why I bother paying over two hundred thousand dollars for higher education to enter this profession though, just to get multiple calls from my boss asking why I’m not at my desk at eight fucking forty a.m.
Oh, don’t worry, there wasn’t a docket call, or hearing, or client meeting, or anything important. He just wanted to know why I wasn’t there yet.
Sometimes I’m pretty sure the other side is faking documents in discovery.
Now it’s kinda like a game - how fast can I get to zero?!
Did I just call paying my student loans a game?
Working in my office is like… it’s like that one relationship in college. You know, the one where after apologies are reluctantly muttered, you’re deluded into thinking that oh, it’ll be different next time, he won’t talk to me like that because I won’t take it anymore, but then again I shouldn’t have provoked him, but I don’t know I don’t have anywhere else to go.
The one where when it’s good, it’s super fun and candy rainbows, but when it’s bad, you lock yourself in the dorm floor’s laundry room because you just really need to be with your tear-glazed tub of french fries in peace.
Uh… that wasn’t just me, right?
Anyway, today marked another valley in the office mood coaster, so I’ve been blitzkrieging my resume to various headhunters.
I tried to reconnect with one I contacted a few months back only to learn that she started up her own law practice.
So a couple questions. Does it indicate a growing market and her insider knowledge revealed that more people will need lawyers in the immediate future? or should I be concerned that there were not enough available positions to fill that she couldn’t make enough as a recruiter and was forced back into legal practice?
Either way, this just means I have one less headhunter to harass.
This day is the worst!
Burglars are the worst!
People are the worst!
Me looking at my 401k.
My rate of return is -1.4%.