I attended a pretrial hearing on a case I was working on in Judge T*’s court last Friday morning. This particular case stands out, with its obscene-number-of-million dollars at stake, but more markedly because I am completely infatuated by counsel. You can list that as the most sadistic thing you have ever heard me say, but I’ve heard them argue as opposing counsel in another trial...
This weekend marks the 5 month anniversary of my working at CI*. Which means I’ve worked about 20 out of 25 weekends. And that makes me sad. To take a load off, and to recoup from being overworked and unappreciated 40 hours a week, I took this weekend off. But mostly because we are required to dress up for Halloween shifts tomorrow, and there’s something too brothel-y about prancing...
i have an announcement!
I’ve been bottling some good news for 24 hours now, but only because I haven’t been able to craft a witty way to broadcast it. For once, plain and simple will have to do: I am temporarily no longer unemployed! In two weeks, I will be a law clerk at an immigration boutique (hereinafter referred to as S&O*). Although I still haven’t found an opening as an attorney - yet -...
me: What side would you like?
X: The.. cajun-dusted fries... is that, like, mashed potatoes?
me: ... no.
The drink Dirty Blonde has Guinness floating atop Stella Artois, which we serve in a tulip shaped Guinness pint glass. After setting one down in front of a woman, she looked up at me with contempt and scoffed, “Uh, can I get a stuh-raw?”
I don’t watch ANTM, but clips like this makes me wish I did.
a priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
A man on his horse rode up to the bar today. Sounds like the first line of a joke, don’t it?
X: Excuse me, I don’t taste the fondue on this burger. Me: Well, the fondue mushroom burger comes with melted swiss cheese and grilled mushrooms… X: So there’s no fondue sauce? Me: … no.
I do not claim to be a foodie; my palette is admittedly unrefined and can’t distinguish between a lot of flavors - rather, I experience and taste food as a whole - and if asked, my favorite spice is Mrs. Dash. I, however, LOVE trying new foods and flavors from all ends of the spectrum, and I love my Melting Pot as much as I love my Olive Garden. They’re apples and oranges, of...
I recently received a complaint from my good friend A, who bemoaned that four tales of customers was not enough. Oh believe you mean, I have, and am guaranteed to acquire many more. It is interesting to reflect upon these stories, because while the food service industry has clearly a huge and necessary presence in all of our daily lives, I don’t recall knowing any friends who were waitstaff...
99 degrees of crazy
It’s been a long day at work, and I’ve dealt with 99 degrees of crazy over the past week. If you’re not interested in these CI* posts, then this is your warning, because you should just scroll along. One. From now on, if a customer toothless and/or wearing a doo-rag, I’m going to treat them like they’re toothless and/or wearing a doo-rag. You might be thinking,...
Gregarious, earnest, law graduate seeks...