thoughtful stripper commentary
I went to my first bachelorette party this weekend replete with booze, sexytime gifts, penis paraphernalia (because duh, penises are funny), and a hot cop stripper. [N: Why are they always cops? They need to have more options.] Now, I think strippers are awesome and sexy in theory, but greasy in practice. And sweaty. So. So. Sweaty. Before dinner I said that I revel in every opportunity...
bachelorette party strippers
I get a lot of emails from my mom but I don’t read half of them. Hear me out. All her emails are either seize the day! chain letters or a link to www.seemingly-benign-but-potentially-phishy.com. So I scan the inspirational quotes and the html embedded pictures of white sand beaches in case she ever asks me about them (Oh yes mom, they’re gorgeous) but I don’t know what to do...
Both my mother and J have been independently pressuring me to acquire health insurance. I sought to do so immediately, because if one more person tells me how important it is, it must surely be a bad omen. So today I weighed dance lessons, good food, and health insurance, because after loan payments from my paycheck, I can realistically enjoy only two of the three. It is almost unreal that I...
debt diaries june 2011/kruegered
#1 10,000.00 9,806.80 9,747.66 9,647.66 9,547.66 9,437.44 #2 41,000.00 44,165.34 44,063.93 43,878.72 38,912.35 #3 114,385.76 139,016.75 138,465.63 137,801.88 137,247.75 137,038.20 #4 1,130.00 647.13 597.13 Did you know A Nightmare on Elm Street has 5 sequels, 1 crossover adventure with Jason, a re-imagining of Freddy Krueger, and 1 remake? That makes 9 movies in all. I...
One of attorneys at my Firm didn’t want the bag of chips that came with his lunch. He offered it to me. Having just ate, I said, “I’m good, no thanks.” He said, “Really? But you’re always eating.” I’ve only been here 3 months. How did I get this reputation already?! note to self: snack more discreetly.
hookers and bears
I was on Craigslist the other day looking for cat furniture, which turned into looking on ebay for cat furniture, which turned into looking on ebay for estate jewelry and before I knew it I was bidding on god knows what. Now, when I say “bid” I mean like $15 for a brand new pair of Louboutins, or $8 for a 20 carat ring. Never serious money, so I never expect to win. I put $18 on a...
PerStirpes: You gave me quite a few receipts, but I can't tell what they're for. Did you hire a company for this work or did you perform the repairs yourself?
client: Oh, I did them myself. I hired some men, but not a contractor.
PS: Did you write down what you purchased goes with what repair? I can't tell--
c: No, but the receipts can tell you some things. I painted the outside, so if you see paint, it's for that. I did the caulking so if you see c-o-c-k then--
PS: I don't think that's right...
PS: Please, continue.
I have just discovered thee cushiest fancy pants high paying job! No, I’m not talking about turning tricks, don’t be ridiculous. Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin are hiring a tutor for their children Apple & Moses! Said tutor will be salaried at $98,00 for about 3 hours of work a day. They will be provided with living quarters AND they will travel with the Paltrow/Martin clan...