June 2011
16 posts
thoughtful stripper commentary
I went to my first bachelorette party this weekend replete with booze, sexytime gifts, penis paraphernalia (because duh, penises are funny), and a hot cop stripper.
[N: Why are they always cops? They need to have more options.]
Now, I think strippers are awesome and sexy in theory, but greasy in practice.
And sweaty.
So. So. Sweaty.
Before dinner I said that I revel in every opportunity...
bachelorette party strippers
expectations:
reality:
LOLmom
I get a lot of emails from my mom but I don’t read half of them. Hear me out.
All her emails are either seize the day! chain letters or a link to www.seemingly-benign-but-potentially-phishy.com.
So I scan the inspirational quotes and the html embedded pictures of white sand beaches in case she ever asks me about them (Oh yes mom, they’re gorgeous) but I don’t know what to do...
choices
Both my mother and J have been independently pressuring me to acquire health insurance. I sought to do so immediately, because if one more person tells me how important it is, it must surely be a bad omen.
So today I weighed dance lessons, good food, and health insurance, because after loan payments from my paycheck, I can realistically enjoy only two of the three.
It is almost unreal that I...
debt diaries june 2011/kruegered
#1
10,000.00
9,806.80
9,747.66
9,647.66
9,547.66
9,437.44
#2
41,000.00
44,165.34
44,063.93
43,878.72
38,912.35
#3
114,385.76
139,016.75
138,465.63
137,801.88
137,247.75
137,038.20
#4
1,130.00
647.13
597.13
Did you know A Nightmare on Elm Street has 5 sequels, 1 crossover adventure with Jason, a re-imagining of Freddy Krueger, and 1 remake? That makes 9 movies in all.
I...
chips
One of attorneys at my Firm didn’t want the bag of chips that came with his lunch. He offered it to me. Having just ate, I said, “I’m good, no thanks.”
He said, “Really? But you’re always eating.”
I’ve only been here 3 months. How did I get this reputation already?!
note to self: snack more discreetly.
hookers and bears
I was on Craigslist the other day looking for cat furniture, which turned into looking on ebay for cat furniture, which turned into looking on ebay for estate jewelry and before I knew it I was bidding on god knows what.
Now, when I say “bid” I mean like $15 for a brand new pair of Louboutins, or $8 for a 20 carat ring. Never serious money, so I never expect to win.
I put $18 on a...
spelling
PerStirpes: You gave me quite a few receipts, but I can't tell what they're for. Did you hire a company for this work or did you perform the repairs yourself?
client: Oh, I did them myself. I hired some men, but not a contractor.
PS: Did you write down what you purchased goes with what repair? I can't tell--
c: No, but the receipts can tell you some things. I painted the outside, so if you see paint, it's for that. I did the caulking so if you see c-o-c-k then--
PS: I don't think that's right...
c: What?
PS: Please, continue.
bonjour!
I have just discovered thee cushiest fancy pants high paying job! No, I’m not talking about turning tricks, don’t be ridiculous.
Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin are hiring a tutor for their children Apple & Moses! Said tutor will be salaried at $98,00 for about 3 hours of work a day. They will be provided with living quarters AND they will travel with the Paltrow/Martin clan...
