By the age of say, 25, there are certain office behaviors people should have mastered. Women, for example, should know what shoes are too hooker for the workplace. For men, they should know how to compliment female peers without getting branded a “fucking creep.”
A coworker gchatted me one afternoon that D* sent her a “fucking creep email.” Naturally, I responded, “I love creep emails! Forward it to me!”
Factual details first.1) Coworker never wears her hair down, but did so that day. 2) D* stopped by her office around 9:30 that morning. 3) The “fucking creep email” in question was sent at 4:30 that afternoon.
That email read:
Now, anything prefaced with “at the risk of sounding inappropriate” is most definitely inappropriate. Fact. You know what’s also inappropriate? The use of the word “beautiful.” “Beautiful” is reserved for mothers, lovers, between girl friends, and a bride on her wedding day.
The time frame is a bit concerning. An email sent 7 hours later? Nothing about that says, “Sorry, I forgot to mention this earlier,” but rather, “I’ve been sitting in my office thinking about braiding your hair all day.”
And really? An email? Someone somewhere will put you on blast on the interwebs. If I’m her friend, you can just assume that it’ll be me.
So gentlemen, don’t be that guy I’m reluctant to walk in front of in fear he’s doing a stealthy creep behind me.
Not sure if you’re a creepy complimenter? Here’s a 1-2-3 checklist.
Would a significant other raise an eyebrow at your comment?
Does it sound too patronizing or too porn-y?
Do you evoke an image of a man in the alley wearing a trenchcoat with a hand down his pants?
If you had to go through my checklist, your answers were probably all “yes.” So it’s true, you’re a “fucking creep.”
This is from 7th or 8th grade, about 13 years ago.
Michele: Sylvia, Hi, from Michele, Leslie, and Lucy W/B me: That’s all?
Leslie: No, Dumb Michele wrote you such a short letter anyway did you know that in the Bible their Is a part in that a man marries his sister and says her breast are like a wall. (I guess she is flat) talk to you during Mr. (Boring) Guzmans class… Leslie W/B (on another paper)