Back in 1L year, the whole class would run around spotting potential torts all day. Is that a puddle on the floor? Better mop it up. Now you have actual notice. If I stick my finger in this blender and it doesn’t stop dicing, does that qualify as product liability? I should totally sue. We thought we were so smart. It wasn’t cute. Anyway, we have a new guy at the office now, so...
I am trying to offer you an agreed judgment. I am trying to give you money. Why won’t you call me back, ya dumb ho? Sixty six requests for production? I got something for you: Dear client, this is exactly why no one wants to work with you. If we were business partners, I’d go out of my way to breach my fiduciary duties just so I can stop working with you. I would breach all of...
The Firm holds staff meetings about once every two weeks. They look a little like this. I just can’t figure out which one I am. Maybe the stabber.
Lawyering requires being confrontational. I am not very confrontational. I’m still working on it. When I approach the bench for a hearing, I pray that I look cool, confident, and fabulous. Expectations: Reality:
My calendar tells me that if I’m sitting at the beginning of May and I need to wait for the beginning of September, four months will pass. Last Friday, at a hearing in front of a full courtroom of seasoned attorneys, Judge *T yelled at me and told me I was wrong. Apparently, nine minus five doesn’t always equal four in Texas. See, I had a motion for summary judgment on a sure win...